What's Wrong with Work?

If you ask, do you receive?

We've recently done a little office experiment. 

We wrote a short letter to no one in particular and posted it on the noticeboard. 

It asks for 3 specific outcomes (I won't share the details here but things like £X of new business by Y date, a particular project to get brilliant feedback and a piece of news we are waiting for to come in before Christmas). We kept to outcomes we really wanted and needed. We weren't greedy. And we were realistic in the sense that we knew there was a real possibility that we would get these outcomes. They weren't random or plucked out of thin air.

We've all put our names to it. 

What is interesting is that some of the outcomes are starting to be realised. I have given some thought to why this might be and here are my short-listed theories so are - 

1. Magic/God/The Universe

2. It focused the mind and we took actions we might not have taken because we wanted the letter to work

3. Our intentions were in our energy so that, without even realising, other people picked up on that energy and were influenced by it

4. These things would have happened anyway, with or without the letter. It was our hard graft in previous weeks and months which started to pay off. 

Of course, it doesn't much matter why it seems to be working (although understanding what works means you can replicate it). But it brings to mind Rule 4 for Taming Tigers - It's all in the mind. 

By putting in the hard graft and also putting our wishes, hopes, dreams on paper and putting it where we could see it every day we shifted our mindset. The voices in our heads left us alone and we could go about our business with a clear mind, knowing what success looked like. 

I would love to know whether you've ever tried anything like this, what effect it had (if any) and what explanation you give. 

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What did you do today?

OK, it's only 11.45 on a Monday morning and I am already asking you what you've done. 

But there are only 6 or 7 hours left of the day and then one-fifth of your working week is gone. What will you have to show for it? 

A really tidy Inbox? A shorter to do list? Fewer people waiting for stuff from you?

Or will you have made a real contribution to the success of your organisation?

It is entirely possible to get to the end of a day, or a week, and feel that you have not really accomplished much, even though you have been frantically busy constantly. Rule 8 for Taming Tigers is very deliberately worded -

Understand AND control your time (we talked about this last time) - Do you know where your time goes and do you control it, or it is controlled by other people's demands and therefore by your Tiger?

To create change - You aren't just understanding and controlling your time so you can stay on top of your to do list. You are understanding and controlling time to Create Change. Do you know what change you want/need to create this week? 

If your CEO was watching, what change would he/she expect you to be part of this week? 

If you were looking back on this week with the benefit of hindsight, what story would you like to have been part of? 

You still have 6 or 7 hours to make an impact on the day, to write the story. Shake up Monday and create some change. 

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Who is in charge - you or the clock?

Sometimes it can seem as though you are not in charge of your own life. 

What with your manager's expectations, demands coming from other people with their own agendas and deadlines and an ever increasing to do list of your own, the time just seems to disappear. 

Rule 8 for Taming Tigers is "Understand and control time to create change". Under circumstances like these though it is hard to know where to start. 

The clue is in the Rule. Step 1 is to Understand. 

If you could only spend time on activity which added value to your organisation, based on the specific role you have in the business, what would fill your diary?

Now cross reference that with what it actually there. Our diary is a reflection of our priorities. You may think that strategic thinking is a high priority for you but if it isn't in your diary then you are kidding yourself. You don't prioritise it because you believe, in the moment, that something else is a high priority. 

By stepping back and considering what should be in the diary and comparing it with what actually is, you can at least understand where the time is going. 

That's the easy bit. The hard bit is making changes to the way your diary looks to that is reflects how you really add value to the organisation. 

But don't get overwhelmed by that now. Do the first step first. 

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Be Prepared?

Leading a team is a bit like being a boy/girl scout. It can feel as though you are expected to adapt effortlessly and seamlessly to the different needs, moods and challenges your team present you with without demonstrating any kind of emotional response at all. 

Cool, calm, collected and prepared for anything. 

Of course, the reality is that you are human. Which means you are often taken by surprise or operating on a set of assumptions which are totally false or having an emotional reaction at a particularly inconvenient moment. 

And, at the same, time, you are trying to cover all of that up because you can't let your team see your flaws. 

Which only goes to perpetuate their belief that you are always prepared and therefore means you have to continue to hide the fact that you aren't always, which means that you are always operating with this slight sense that you could, at any moment, be found out...which adds a great deal of stress which no one, but yourself, has put on you. 

Rule 4 for Taming Tigers - It's All in the Mind

You may have strong views about what kind of leader you want to be and what kind of leader your team needs to you be. But are those "rules" consciously chosen by you or are you operating by a set of beliefs and assumptions which you have never examined closely?

What if your team did realise you weren't always prepared?

What if they did see emotion from you?

What if they were aware of your fears, insecurities and foibles?

When we interviewed James Le Brocq of O2 for our website he shared that he tells new hires some quite personal details about himself. It's a way to build bonds from the start (check it out by logging in at www.tamingtigers.com).

This might not be the approach you decide to take but it is certainly worth examining what's going on in your mind and consciously choosing the rules you operate by. Otherwise you might find yourself getting tied up in knots about a modus operandi you haven't even realised you have.  

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Know-it-all

If you are the boss it can feel like you have to know it all. 

Of course, you've recruited or promoted people who are experts in their field. But perhaps you still feel that you should know a little more about everything than they do. Otherwise, what is your job? 

If you can't add value by dropping in that "I thought of that earlier" or "Yes, I've heard of that" or "Well I just downloaded the updated version of that" then why do they need you? 

Well, clearly this is all nonsense. You aren't the boss because you know more about everything. I can't tell you why you are the boss (only you know how you got there!) but I can tell you why you aren't there. 

You aren't there to have all the answers.

You aren't there to be the smartest person in the room. 

You aren't there to get it right more than anyone else. 

The way I think of it is that you hold all the strings. Everyone else has a defined role but without a hub at the centre which ties everything together, everyone is just working in isolation. 

In a sense it isn't very rewarding. But, as we put it at Taming Tigers - "The tools for Taming Tigers are all around you" and, if you don't mind me saying, you are the biggest tool in the team. 

Today, let others be right, be clever, be the subject matter expert. All you need to do is hold the strings. 

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Don't put it off until Monday

Leadership is often about doing unpleasant things. 

It's about taking the rap for mistakes your team made but for which, as their leader, you are responsible. 

It's about smiling when you feel like crying and being seen when you feel like hiding. 

It's about listening to excuses when you just want it done already. 

It's about having the tough conversations which would be far easier to avoid. 

And it's about doing the thing today that you want to put off until Monday. 

It's Friday. Do whatever it is you've been putting off. You've got the whole weekend to recover. And, who knows, the initial unpleasantness might be followed by a terrific result. 

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Bring a Teddy Bear to Work Day

Evidence published in the September issue of Harvard Business Review reports that adults are likely to behave much better when there are reminders of children, such as teddy bears, in their presence. 

You will know that, chance are, you watch your mouth and your opinions when you are around your own children. Well, it appears that it isn't just ACTUAL children who bring out this better behaviour in us but the IDEA of children such as toys, crayons, balloons etc in our vicinity. 

An sample of the data from the research - 

The number of people who will cheat in a given scenario is 20% lower when subjects are near children's toys or engaged in children's activities

The more day-care centres and kindergartens there are in an area, the more likely a company is to engage in charitable behaviour

Neuroscience has shown that oxytocin is released when people are near kids and oxytocin is associated with pro-social behaviour

At a time when business ethics is so high on the agenda, anything which might help leaders be more socially conscious is a good thing, right? Just to be on the safe side, I am bringing my childhood Winnie the Pooh in to the office on Tuesday. Anyone else? 

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What? Why? How?

Coaches don't have many answers. But they do have a lot of questions. A bit like journalists. Only coaches use their powers for good whilst journalists...

Another thing that's interesting about the kinds of questions that coaches ask is that they almost always start with the words What or How. Very rarely Why. 

That's because Why questions sound aggressive or, at the very least, judgemental. Why are you wearing that jacket? Why did you say that? 

Questions beginning with What and How are more likely to get an interesting answer - interesting for the coach but, more importantly, interesting for the coachee. Which, surely, is the point. If the coach leaves the session knowing more than they did at the beginning but the coachee doesn't, surely the coach should be the one who is paying.

You will also notice, if you've been coached by a talented coach, that coaches rarely care about The Story. I mean the background we all give when we're explaining the issue we want to work on. They don't need to know how long you've been working in the business or see your CV or know how large your team is. In fact, the coach doesn't really need to know anything because the coach isn't going to come up with any answers. Just more questions.

It is you - the coachee - who is going to come up with the answers.

Whether you are a professional coach or a leader who wants to develop their coaching skill, it's worth knowing more about questions than about answers. 

"The important thing is to not stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing" - Albert Einstein

 

On a need to know basis...

Giving feedback or just speaking honestly in front of someone who may receive what you say as a form of feedback is rarely comfortable. 

And many people don't take feedback well. 

So if you are concerned about telling people what you think you may have some justification.

But is that a good enough reason to avoid doing it?

In my life many people have been very direct with me. Sometimes I have ignored what they've said because of a sense inside me that it wasn't meant with a pure heart. People will sometimes give feedback as a way of punishing you or avoiding their own issues. Equally feedback is always subjective. It is impossible, in my view, to strip away all your preconceptions and assumptions. You always view the world through your own eyes no matter how much you try to see things from another person's perspective so feedback is never "reality". And, of course, I have sometimes ignored important messages because I wasn't ready to hear them. 

But there are times when the subjectivity of feedback is completely valid, for instance, when it comes to leadership. You aren't doing your best leadership if no one is following. There is no argument that "It doesn't make me a bad leader just because no one listens to me". 

The bottom line is that leadership is all in the eye of the beholder. And, given that, it makes sense to be open-minded about what people think of you. It doesn't mean you have to take what they say on board completely but it does mean a conversation can begin between you where misunderstandings, mistakes and opportunities to grow can be explored.

And that's why I am always determined to hear even the most difficult of messages. It is often the ones that are hardest the hear that make the most difference in the long run.

When you are considering whether to share your truth with someone, remember that although they may not like it, they may appreciate it. And if they don't you can console yourself with the fact that you did it with a pure heart...as far as you know. 

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GOAL!

Professional sportspeople have it simple. Not easy, but simple. 

There are any number of goals out there to aim for and any number of milestones along the way. 

If you have the talent and the will it's just a matter of focusing on the straight line ahead of you and off you go. 

I realise it isn't quite as obvious as I make it sound. And I certainly don't envy them. 

At school my PE teacher wrote in my report "Blaire keeps a positive attitude despite her obvious disabilities in this subject". Ah well. An international sporting career was never on the agenda really. 

But when it comes to business, I love to have a goal. It's just not as simple because, although there are competitions to win and awards to collect, that's not really the point of business. Most business people have to set their own goal and their own milestones. 

It's not easy to do, which is why we end up with so many goals which mean nothing and could be transferred to any business you care to mention and fit, kinda, with what that business wants to achieve. "Be the number one in our market" is the fall back position of most organisations and "Be the best team in our field" is the fall back for most teams. What's your team or organisational goal? Could it apply to any function like yours in any business or any organisation in any field, pretty much? Probably. 

We've been doing a lot of work with teams recently on just this - setting the Goal and defining the roadmap to get there. And there were no "Be Number One in Our Market" type goals. Instead we heard words like "Simple", "Brave", "Shape", "Brilliant", even the odd expletive to express what these teams really wanted to achieve, what would really get them out of bed on a bad day. I'm afraid I can't share them here as they are so exciting and ground-breaking that you would steal them. 

Anyway, they only mean so much because of the work that went in to creating them. The whole point is they can't be transferred to another team or another business and mean something. They had to come from the people in the room. 

There is nothing stopping you creating a team goal which really inspires your people, except perhaps the belief that it is possible. Well, I can tell you it is possible. Now, what's it going to be?

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